Sunday, July 30, 2006
My Love for You, Stef
“Love is calling me a little deeper than I’ve ever been before.” Jami Lula
Love for another is so life giving. Love of God is so life affirming. With you, Stef, I have experienced both of these truths as such a wonderful gifts. For in you I am constantly reminded of the power of relationship to another human being and the numinous experience of God. I am so blessed by your presence. The light of God/dess clearly shines forth from you. In my imagination I aspire to create and experience with you what Rumi prayed for… “The way the night knows itself with the moon. Be that with me.”
You have loved me for so long. Now in the most difficult time of my life, I have so much to be grateful for, rather than to tremble in fear. It’s a lot to do with you making the choice to love me deeper and embrace the fear. And in witnessing your transformation, I have grown deeper in my own life.
How is it that our love has grown thru all this? The only answer is that we both know the source of our affection is from the depths of God's heart. We also know that the experience we share is directly out of the thought choices we make, despite the pain and suffering of the body. Thank you so much for being courageous enough to be intimate in conversations that require truth. Thank you for being willing to face the challenge of financials, the view of the valley of death, the thorniness of relationship, and the ups and downs of intimacy. These have all been gifts to me and to us. In sorting out the whys, and what ifs of our new adventure, the only answer that is true is that WE ARE BLESSED. That is our sovereignty.
For four years, I was hesitant to fully accept your gift of love. Old tapes created the fear of loss. I reasoned that I could never match or meet your expectations. In that illusion was my own issue of unworthiness. Now in a time where unworthiness is a true block to healing, I am rediscovering the preciousness of the gift you offer. As I learn to receive, I am learning to open my heart and my mind to the true possibilities of life. I am now as certain as Keats when he said- “ I am certain of nothing, except the Holiness of the heart’s affections and the Truth of the imagination. What the imagination seizes as beauty must be truth - whether it existed before or not.” You are in both my heart and imagination. Our love is beautiful and the only path to our shared destiny. In that we are living our destiny now. I only ask that we learn to aspire to explore our love deeper and deeper and in doing so learn to share it. For in that will it grow even more.
As it says in the Course of Miracles…
W-pI.105.3. Accept God's peace and joy, and you will learn a different way of looking at a gift. 4 God's gifts will never lessen when they are given away. 5 They but increase thereby.
W-pI.105.4. As Heaven's peace and joy intensify when you accept them as God's gift to you, so does the joy of your Creator grow when you accept His joy and peace as yours. 2 True giving is creation. 3 It extends the limitless to the unlimited, eternity to timelessness, and love unto itself. 4 It adds to all that is complete already, not in simple terms of adding more, for that implies that it was less before. 5 It adds by letting what cannot contain itself fulfill its aim of giving everything it has away, securing it forever for itself.
I LOVE YOU, Stephanie Swink. Thank for your divine Presence on this Journey.
