Monday, March 06, 2006
Wednesday 3/8/06 Setting Out
Greetings,
I have decided to keep a separate blog, so as not to confuse the wonderful logistics and support being created. Thanks to all that have been contributing and helping to get things organized. Your emails and comments are playing a major role in preparing me to move through this ordeal with confidence and acceptance. The care is deeply touching Stef and me. It is allowing me to come to terms with all the medical information, the emotional swings, the core mortality issue and learning how to surrender to God/dess. Through all this, my Faith is deepening. My parents, brothers, and cousins have been so positive, although far away. And Zach's mom, Susan and her husband Steve have been right there. I am so very blessed to have each and every one of you in my life.
We now have a surgery date- Thursday, March 23rd- 8:15 to 6:15. I will be in ICU for about 5 days. It is during the Spring Equinox, a significant time for new beginnings. (Yes, I discussed the pros and cons with Jocelyn... the stars are aligned) When we got the date I experienced my first real dance with anger and then fear. I went to the edge and then realized that no matter what, all was safe and the outcome would be perfect. Rather than identify with the emotions, I chose and will continue to identify with Life. I know the swings will continue, its nature. Yet, I am committed to being aware of the bumps as bumps. They are not the purpose of this Journey. The purpose is an opportunity for me to act consciously, in the face of real uncertainty. And in doing so I am surrendering to a much higher power and wisdom.
My favorite Psalms is the 23rd. Regardless of your personal spiritual orientation, I hope you will find a moment on the 23rd to say it to yourself or... better yet outloud as all prayer and poetry is best when spoken aloud. (Just listen to Marrian Williamson or David Whyte and you'll know.) The 23rd is such a beautiful expression of faith. It has been a helpful to me throughout my life. (NOTE: (You'll find a link to a song interpretation that can be downloaded on MusicNow by Peter Gass from the album Ancient Mother.Ckick on line #3 23 Psalms. Be patient a white screen may appear and will take a moment to download. Also this interpreation recognizes a feminine God, something you may not expect, but try and accept)
The details of the surgery and reconstruction are in a word... complex. To be simple, they will be removing my sinus cavity on the right side of my face. While you may have a variety of feelings about that, consider this. You can thnk of it as a new and mysterious aspect of me. Dr Evans, the reconstuctionist has agreed to refill the space with Love and Joy. And, I am encouraging all to focus your thoughts on positive outcomes both in surgery and for 3-5 months down the road. I'm thinking of it like ordering a birthday cake. The magic is imagining how it will look when it arrives. Your positive thoughts about that image will go a long ways in co-creating the miracle that is sure to occur.
Last weekend, Stef and I celebrated her mother's birthday. Her Dad and his wife treated us to lunch on our way home. They along with her sister, Kris and family are a significant ingredient in my optimism. Along with family visits, Stef and I had a wonderful two days alone at Rancho del Corazon (www.HeartInspiredPresentations.com) We stayed away from cell phones, emails, TV, movies and all the other technical addictions and simply connected with each other and within. I will be returning there tomorrow night for a few days of solitude and to more deeply commune with God/dess. I plan to write more then.
So, tonight I am at peace. We have an outpouring of love, a new juicer, a new phone for Stef, a new headlight in the car (thanks to Zach and Lawrence), help getting my office organized, deliveries of fresh fruit and vegetables, a new nuitritional diet, my first cousin, Dan, booked to come and even much more to be revealed. Life is such a wonderful trip!
Much Love,
North (Norman)
I have decided to keep a separate blog, so as not to confuse the wonderful logistics and support being created. Thanks to all that have been contributing and helping to get things organized. Your emails and comments are playing a major role in preparing me to move through this ordeal with confidence and acceptance. The care is deeply touching Stef and me. It is allowing me to come to terms with all the medical information, the emotional swings, the core mortality issue and learning how to surrender to God/dess. Through all this, my Faith is deepening. My parents, brothers, and cousins have been so positive, although far away. And Zach's mom, Susan and her husband Steve have been right there. I am so very blessed to have each and every one of you in my life.
We now have a surgery date- Thursday, March 23rd- 8:15 to 6:15. I will be in ICU for about 5 days. It is during the Spring Equinox, a significant time for new beginnings. (Yes, I discussed the pros and cons with Jocelyn... the stars are aligned) When we got the date I experienced my first real dance with anger and then fear. I went to the edge and then realized that no matter what, all was safe and the outcome would be perfect. Rather than identify with the emotions, I chose and will continue to identify with Life. I know the swings will continue, its nature. Yet, I am committed to being aware of the bumps as bumps. They are not the purpose of this Journey. The purpose is an opportunity for me to act consciously, in the face of real uncertainty. And in doing so I am surrendering to a much higher power and wisdom.
My favorite Psalms is the 23rd. Regardless of your personal spiritual orientation, I hope you will find a moment on the 23rd to say it to yourself or... better yet outloud as all prayer and poetry is best when spoken aloud. (Just listen to Marrian Williamson or David Whyte and you'll know.) The 23rd is such a beautiful expression of faith. It has been a helpful to me throughout my life. (NOTE: (You'll find a link to a song interpretation that can be downloaded on MusicNow by Peter Gass from the album Ancient Mother.Ckick on line #3 23 Psalms. Be patient a white screen may appear and will take a moment to download. Also this interpreation recognizes a feminine God, something you may not expect, but try and accept)
The details of the surgery and reconstruction are in a word... complex. To be simple, they will be removing my sinus cavity on the right side of my face. While you may have a variety of feelings about that, consider this. You can thnk of it as a new and mysterious aspect of me. Dr Evans, the reconstuctionist has agreed to refill the space with Love and Joy. And, I am encouraging all to focus your thoughts on positive outcomes both in surgery and for 3-5 months down the road. I'm thinking of it like ordering a birthday cake. The magic is imagining how it will look when it arrives. Your positive thoughts about that image will go a long ways in co-creating the miracle that is sure to occur.
Last weekend, Stef and I celebrated her mother's birthday. Her Dad and his wife treated us to lunch on our way home. They along with her sister, Kris and family are a significant ingredient in my optimism. Along with family visits, Stef and I had a wonderful two days alone at Rancho del Corazon (www.HeartInspiredPresentations.com) We stayed away from cell phones, emails, TV, movies and all the other technical addictions and simply connected with each other and within. I will be returning there tomorrow night for a few days of solitude and to more deeply commune with God/dess. I plan to write more then.
So, tonight I am at peace. We have an outpouring of love, a new juicer, a new phone for Stef, a new headlight in the car (thanks to Zach and Lawrence), help getting my office organized, deliveries of fresh fruit and vegetables, a new nuitritional diet, my first cousin, Dan, booked to come and even much more to be revealed. Life is such a wonderful trip!
Much Love,
North (Norman)
